i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
