You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
