Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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