I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I think my fart just growled at me.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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