Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
