What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
