I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize