I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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