Have you finally orgasmed yet?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
