I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
