All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
