Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Randomize
