I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
