Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
