i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
