I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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