Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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