I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
