Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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