i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
