worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
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