we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
