I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
