I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
