You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
