The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
