she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
