her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
