pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
