I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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