im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
