Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
