I am puke
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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