Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
