the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
