I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize