He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
