its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
