he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
