hotel room ftw
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
