I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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