"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
