HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
