Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
