i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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