Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize