ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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