she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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