Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
