So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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