you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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