Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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