How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
