That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
