Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
