I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
