how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Randomize
