I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
