I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I intend to get homeless drunk
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
