I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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