a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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