can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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